The Long and Winding Road

While these words conjur up the melancholy story of life as told by the Beatles, it also refers to how any simple task is accomplished in IT. Sadly.

For example, two of our staff got new PCs this week. In order to get those machines up and running and replace their current machines, each user needs to move any files they have to the network, as well any specialized software or settings. That’s the easy part.

Then, I need to connect the machine to our network and get any software installed. Again, easy.

But like the ad says, there’s Reality and then there’s Zumanity. Here’s the Zumanity version:

• Connect machine to network
• Install software
• Connect to Internet
• Oops, can’t connect because we need more Anti-Virus licenses
• Go buy more licenses
• Get supremely confused by types of licenses available (see previous post on Semantics)
• Put item in shopping cart
• Get weird shopping cart results
• Start over
• E-Store won’t ‘forget’ first item, wrestle with it
• Find correct item, finally remove all bad items
• Purchase
• Install the licenses on the firewall
• Oops, can’t because DNS isn’t working suddenly
• Check DNS, it is set externally
• Check external DNS and it doesn’t match up
• Run around in circles wondering what’s wrong, when all users and servers are fine, but not the firewall
• Pull in outside IT vendor for support
• Need a spare workstation, set that up
• Oh by the way, borrowed that spare workstation from a staff member who is trying to troubleshoot an urgent problem while on vacation – Aigh!
• Take care of urgent problem for that staff member so workstation can remain free for vendor
• Connect to IT vendor support network, wait…
• Did I mention Wait… ?
• After much wringing of hands, gnashing of teeth, and of course the requisite hourly fee, problem solved
• Update firewall
• Update all users’ Anti-Virus
• Get Anti-Virus on new PCs
• Go back and finish installing software
• Retire at age 75, never having accomplished any of my own work

Joy.