David and Goliath

I often feel that working in IT is like being a (hopefully benevolent) Goliath that is often undone by the humblest of Davids. The big systems and projects often hinge upon one tiny detail. This is single-point-of-failure territory.

Today’s rant is about Dell computers. For our PCs, that is all we buy at my company, with the concept being that there will be consistency to their management. To some degree this is true. But what bugs the crap out of me is their video connections (yes, I know, we get to ‘choose’ our video card when building a system, so in large part this rant goes out to those video manufacturers… however, much like the totalitarian empire of WalMart, I would hope Dell has some say about the components its vendors provide…).

We have nice flat panel LCD monitors throughout our company. No one is left using CRTs. And these are current devices, not holdovers from years back… so why is it that I have to jump through so many hoops to connect a new Dell box to an existing monitor… even an existing DELL monitor?

Doing a quick peek at the back of a new PC, I’ll note that the video connector is DVI, so I’ll grab the (supposedly) appropriate cables and set to work – soon to find out that the connections LOOK similar but do not at all connect together.

It is obvious that the DVI spec is more than just a single connection type. Since I don’t have endless hours to worry about this or even care (IT admin with a life, who figured?), I never knew exactly why until having this happen again yesterday and deciding to look it up. Turns out there are three DVI specs: DVI-A, DVI-D, and DVI-I. I am sure everyone in the world knew this but me. Sorry. But WTF? Are there three types of PLUGS for USB? No. How is it that VGA, albeit rudimentary, has existed as a connector for so long?

It’s like the BBC (BBC-1, BBC-2, etc.)… Clever naming of things whose purpose is clear to those who CHOSE the names, but essentially to no one else.

So now we get these new PCs and they have randomly-chosen DVI or quasi-DVI connectors (some are unlike any DVI I have seen, so I will simply call those DVI-X!!! To the EXTREME!), and the end result is me buying a bunch of little stupid connectors to mate whatever connection type we have with whatever video cable we have. Efficient? Doubtful. Obnoxious? YOU BET! So, it turns out that the Belkins of the world are the Davids with the power to destroy the Goliaths.

ByTor: I hear you laughing.

Brought to you by the Letter T

Quick note: Here is how you can tell if I am posting from work or from home. The letter T.

If Ts are appearing as they normally should, then it is pretty safe to say I am posting from work.

If no, and he leer ” doesn’ appear like i is supposed o, ha’s because my freaking supid lapop a home has a problem wih he leer ”. Basard.

No port in a storm

I feel like these posts are becoming more and more just gripes with no solution, but since the point of this blog is a) for me to vent, and b) for me to point out how “simple” tasks are so frequently rendered difficult by our friends the computers around us, here goes…

Today, a workstation called GhostRider on our network broke up with a printer called BeanNorth.

I didn’t even know they were dating, but apparently BeanNorth was fooling around with some of the other workstations, GhostRider found out and that’s that.

Now, if you try to print – even a test page – from GhostRider, it fails. Nothing else has changed and the ports and IPs are all the same.

So now poor BeanNorth is just sitting there, begging for attention. The other workstations are trying their best, but only GhostRider can make it right again. And she won’t budge. For BeanNorth, the IP might be the same, but there is no port in this storm.

2 = 1, as long as 1 = 2

Added a new video monitor to my laptop, in an effort to replicate the convenience of having two monitors like at my work desktop. I expected the laptop would try to go into presentation mode, as if I was connected to a projector, and sure enough it did. Not a problem.

Then I adjusted the settings to make the new monitor act as an extension of the desktop. At which point it promptly took over as the primary monitor, and made the screen on my laptop become the second monitor. While this would normally just be something awkward to correct, it became reminiscent of 1990s computing when the video mode on the new monitor was declared to be incompatible, so the screen went dark… Meaning that my only access to everything on the Windows desktop AND the location of any window or program I tried to open was on the monitor I now could not see. Even though my laptop’s screen was reporting as monitor #1 and the new one was monitor #2, inexplicably #2 was automatically set to be the primary monitor – normally #1. So 1 was 2 and 2 was 1. Riiiight.

Think. I am smarter than this machine right? What can I do?

Well, like any resourceful red-blooded American, I simply began guessing where programs and buttons might be on the dark screen with my mouse and clicking. After 10 or 10,000 attempts and the requisite cursing, I randomly hit something that worked, turned off the second monitor, changed settings and took over the primary monitor slot with my laptop’s screen. All better.

And this isn’t even ByTor messing with me like this.

I am beginning to believe in the One Computer.

The Long and Winding Road

While these words conjur up the melancholy story of life as told by the Beatles, it also refers to how any simple task is accomplished in IT. Sadly.

For example, two of our staff got new PCs this week. In order to get those machines up and running and replace their current machines, each user needs to move any files they have to the network, as well any specialized software or settings. That’s the easy part.

Then, I need to connect the machine to our network and get any software installed. Again, easy.

But like the ad says, there’s Reality and then there’s Zumanity. Here’s the Zumanity version:

• Connect machine to network
• Install software
• Connect to Internet
• Oops, can’t connect because we need more Anti-Virus licenses
• Go buy more licenses
• Get supremely confused by types of licenses available (see previous post on Semantics)
• Put item in shopping cart
• Get weird shopping cart results
• Start over
• E-Store won’t ‘forget’ first item, wrestle with it
• Find correct item, finally remove all bad items
• Purchase
• Install the licenses on the firewall
• Oops, can’t because DNS isn’t working suddenly
• Check DNS, it is set externally
• Check external DNS and it doesn’t match up
• Run around in circles wondering what’s wrong, when all users and servers are fine, but not the firewall
• Pull in outside IT vendor for support
• Need a spare workstation, set that up
• Oh by the way, borrowed that spare workstation from a staff member who is trying to troubleshoot an urgent problem while on vacation – Aigh!
• Take care of urgent problem for that staff member so workstation can remain free for vendor
• Connect to IT vendor support network, wait…
• Did I mention Wait… ?
• After much wringing of hands, gnashing of teeth, and of course the requisite hourly fee, problem solved
• Update firewall
• Update all users’ Anti-Virus
• Get Anti-Virus on new PCs
• Go back and finish installing software
• Retire at age 75, never having accomplished any of my own work

Joy.